The Quiet One
by lamsey2010
Summary: Featuring...John! John is very hungover, what will his prankster brothers do to him? 'Extension' to Life and Times of Grandma. Rated for language only.
1. The Quiet One

**Okay this story is an 'extension' to The Life and Times of Grandma. Explaining how John came home with no trousers and a cat!**

**Still don't own them!**

John was home from University for the summer, he had been looking forward to seeing his long term girlfriend Katherine. They did text and e-mail each other and on the rare occasion phone each other, it was difficult with them being so far apart.

"Come on, Kat," John pleaded, "Come out, so I can see you, I miss you,"

"No, listen John, I am catching up with my girlfriends tonight," Katherine said.

"Pleeeaaaassseeee, I've been looking forward to seeing you for ages now!" John argued back.

"Look, I have to go now I will talk to you soon," Katherine said.

"Want me to come round to yours then?" John asked hopingly.

"I am not at mine, John I have already told you what I am doing tonight! Maybe later in the week we could catch up?" Katherine said.

"Kat, are we still together?" he asked.

"Yeah why?" she said impatiently.

"It's just your acting as if you aren't interested in me anymore," he could feel his cheeks start to burn and eyes start to water up, biting his lip he managed to stop himself from crying.

"Hmmmmm, maybe we do need to talk, but I'm going out with my friends now," and with that she hung up.

John pulled the phone slowly away from his ear and looked at it.

'How do you like that?' he thought to himself still looking at his phone in disgust. 'What have I done now?' his frustration growing he wanted to lash out at the nearest thing but he restrained himself.

"That's it!" he said to himself out loud, "I now have a choice, I can go and see Gordon play King Triton in his high school production of The Little Mermaid or I could out for a couple of quiet ones," pretending to think, mainly to humour himself, "It's a difficult one, I might as well go out on my lonesome!" he sighed as he threw on a t-shirt and 'V' neck jumper over the top then slipped on his favourite jeans and made his way downstairs.

He walked into the living room, noting how unusually quiet it was. He was expecting to see his father rushing round worrying whether or not he would have enough scotch to get him through the performance, Gordon practicing his words – in costume, waddling around in his fin and beard pointing his trident pretending to zap things. But instead he found only his Grandma in the kitchen busying herself with some chores.

"Hey Grandma!" he said suddenly, making her jump.

"Oh John! I thought I was alone. Everyone has gone to Gordon's play!"

"Except me," he said slightly disappointed as his own family had forgotten about him again.

"What are you going to be doing tonight then?" she asked.

"Well Kat and I…." he started.

"Ah I might have known, just be sure to keep it in your pants until your married!" she said quite calmly.

"Grandma!" he exclaimed.

"Well you two have done so well to not give in to temptation!" she said.

John closed his eyes and bowed his head pinching his nose; 'shit' he thought 'Kat was right I am like my Dad!'

"Grandma, Kat and I are not seeing each other tonight, I think she has lost interest in me altogether!" he said.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry to hear that," she said regretting winding him up like that, "so are you just staying in tonight then?"

"Nah, I thought I might go down our local and have a few drinks," he said, leaning in to give his Grandma a farewell peck on the cheek.

"I feel like I can't go out by myself sometimes, I am very vulnerable!" she said sighing, continuing to do things around the kitchen.

Stopping dead in his tracks with his back to her, he looked to the heavens shaking his head. After a moment he spoke again, "Would you like to come with me?"

"Oh what a lovely idea, let me go and put my tights on and I will be right with you!"

John had to give it to his Grandma; she was very sly when she had to be. Although, he was still feeling slightly upset from his conversation with Katherine earlier, he could do with some company, even if it did mean going out for a drink on a Friday night with his Grandma.

A few moments later his Grandma appeared in the hallway.

"Are you ready, Grandma?" John asked.

"Yes, but I'm not getting in that rickety old truck of yours, we will walk," she replied as she turned and started out of the door. John just rolled his eyes muttering "yes Grandma," and followed her locking the door behind him.

After about 10 minutes of listening to his Grandma telling him how he shouldn't let Kat get him down and how he could do so much better than her if she wasn't interested in him anymore, they reached the pub. John pulled open the door with ease and let his Grandma though the door first and he followed.

"Okay Grandma, what are you drinking?" John asked.

"Sherry please," she said as they approached the bar where there was a barman waiting to take their order.

"Sherry and errr…vodka and coke for me," John requested to the barman who just nodded in acknowledgment.

"Ruthie!" came a deep husky voice from behind them.

"Bobby!" Grandma said in return.

"I've not seen you around lately! Nothing to wrong is there?" Bobby asked slightly concerned.

"No just taking care of my family," She replied.

John, who had been quite up until this point could have sworn they shared a 'moment' he cleared his throat successfully breaking the moment.

"Oh, Bobby, you remember my Grandson, John?" she asked.

"Ah yes, at university now, eh?" Bobby asked.

"Yes Sir," John responded handing his Grandma her drink.

"Good boy, now excuse us won't you, your Grandma and I have some catching up to do," Booby said putting his arm around Grandma and sweeping her off to a different part off the pub.

'I don't believe it!' John thought, 'Grandma has pulled! O the shame of it!"

John then turned to his drink downing it in one, making him go slightly light headed, he had to steady himself against the bar momentarily, signalling to the barman to get him another.

"Make it a double this time!" John said suddenly becoming full of self-pity, one drink turned into two, two turned into three and so on.

He hadn't realised how woozy he had become from the alcohol until the barman spoke.

"She stood you up?" the barman asked.

John slowly looked up, glancing at the barman then looking to his left then right side to see if he was talking to someone else.

"Who?" John responded coming to the conclusion that he must have been talking to him.

"Whoever it is you're waiting for," the barman said.

"I'm not waiting for anyone," John said.

"So why the long face and half a bottle of vodka?" the barman said.

"Nothin'," John mumbled looking down into his glass drinking the last of the liquid, "Same again," he said.

"Listen mate, I think you've had enough!" the barman said.

"No you listen," John said grabbing the barman's arm, "I've been away for a while and come home to find out that my girlfriend isn't interested in me anymore, my family still forgets about me and so I come out for a quiet drink with my Grandma who pulled thirty seconds after we walked in the door, I think I deserve another drink!" the barman pulled his arm from John's grasp holding his hands up as a sign of surrender and got John another drink.

John was suddenly aware of music coming from the piano in the corner of the room being played and cheerful singing. He turned slightly to where the music was come from only to turn back and put his head in his hands.

"For God's sake," he mumbled into his hands as his Grandma getting quite a crowd from her singing. The barman gave him his drink, John looked at the barman. "How many has she had?" John slurred out.

"Not as many as you!" the barman exclaimed back.

John forced himself to stand up to go to the toilet. He walked past his Grandma who was still singing.

"_What's new pussy cat whoa whoa whoa!" _to which John just ducked his head while tripping over chairs that 'weren't' there.

He finally managed to make it to his destination stumbling and tripping the whole way there.

"Can't believe her! So embarrassing, what have I forgotten?," John said to himself while swaying at the urinal, "Shit," he moaned as he felt his trousers becoming wet and suddenly remembering he had forgotten to undo his trousers.

"Can't go back out there, I wet myself!" he said giggling, "there 'as to be 'way out," he said between hiccups, doing a very drunken impression of Charlie's Angels pose. He then noticed a window above the toilet in the cubical. "Ah ha!" he exclaimed, "My ticket outta here!"

Climbing up onto the toilet lid he pushed the window which opened with ease and caught John by surprise as he tumbled out of the window and into the bushes below. He got up quickly but the fresh air seemed to make his drunken state worse, a sudden wave of nausea came over him which turned into vomiting. Once he had finished blowing the remainder of the sick out of his nose, he felt something rubbing itself against his leg, he looked down at first he didn't see anything and wondered actually how drunk he was. He looked around noticing that it had gotten dark.

"When did that happen?" he asked himself, he suddenly feeling his trousers were all wet, so he took them off leaving them in a pile on the floor, "why are my trousers wet?" he slurred to himself. Feeling something rubbing against his bare legs he looked down letting his eyes adjust to the dark he saw a black cat.

"Are you my cat?" he asked bending down to stroke it failing miserably when he lost his balance and ended up on his butt with a heavy thud.

"Owwwww," he growled, sitting for a moment while what pain he could feel passed, "Are you my cat?" he asked as if the cat was going to reply to him, "Come on cat what have I done? Giving me the silent treatment isn't going to help!" the cat just purred up at him.

"Okay let's go home," he said picking the cat up forgetting all about his trousers, he started walking his way home having no idea how long he had spent at the pub or what time it was. He stumbled the whole way home with the cat. It didn't help as he thought taking a short cut across the fields would take shorter time but it fact probably double the time with the amount of things he tripped over.

He finally got home stumbling onto the porch of the Tracy house letting himself in still holding the cat, he shut the door behind him which made a load bang.

"Shhhhhh," John said to the door, "You will wake them!" he giggled.

Sitting on the sofa he quickly felt sleep overcome his body as he fell into unconsciousness.

The early the next morning the phone rang Jeff answered it.

"Hello," he said.

"Hello, Jeff?" a voice asked.

"Yes," Jeff replied.

"It's Rosie, I was just wondering if you were missing anything this morning?" she asked.

Rosie was at the play last night so Jeff quickly checked his wallet, keys, cards etc.

"I don't think so, why?" Jeff asked puzzled.

"Do you have five minutes?" she asked.

"Well sure but I don't understand!" he stated.

"Neither do I! Just come as soon as you can!" was her last sentence before hanging up.

"Funny," he said out loud still puzzled, "Mother? I'm just popping round Rosie's she seems worried about something," he shouted.

"Okay!" was the reply from the kitchen.

A few minutes later Jeff arrived on the doorstep of his neighbour, Rosie. The door was slightly ajar so Jeff stuck his head around it.

"Hello? Rosie?" Jeff called.

"In here Jeff!" She replied.

Jeff followed her voice into the lounge, "Okay so what's u…." stopping himself from asking the question when he saw his second eldest son half naked and fast asleep on Rosie's sofa with a cat fast asleep on top of him.

"I'm so sorry, Rosie!" Jeff exclaimed with that he woke John up who was very confused.

"Urrgghhh," John uttered, "My head hurts!"

"You have no sympathy, Boy! This is what happens when you drink too much!" Jeff said sternly too him.

"I'm never drinking again!"

**Please R&R**


	2. The Hangover

**I can't work out if I am a good writer or not. You see I write a story and people always ask for more, is it because I am not writing enough in my stories to achieve reader satisfaction or is it good to keep you audience wanting more? Food for thought!**

**Any how thank you to EVERYONE who reviews I love all of your reviews and they usually give me a chuckle.**

Later that morning, John still could not walk in a straight line and gave endless apologies to his Father. Jeff finally managed to get his second eldest into bed.

"Well, John at least your brothers don't know about this…yet," Jeff sighed quietly to his unconscious son.

Once he had pried the cat out from John's arms and put a bucket next to his bed, just in case, then kissed his forehead and exited the room.

As Jeff shut his son's door and went downstairs, he wondered where this cat had come from, as Rosie didn't seem to have any idea.

Jeff went into the kitchen and found his Mother.

"So….." She said abruptly.

"So…what?" he responded letting the cat onto the floor, the slumping heavily on a chair.

"So, did you tell him off?" she asked

"What for?" Jeff asked.

"What for? How about drunk and disorderly, indecent exposure, breaking and entering, maybe theft as we don't know where he got that cat from and most of all neglect!" she spat out.

"Neglect?" he asked.

"Yes, neglect, he neglected me Jeff," she said coming over weak and frail supporting herself against the counter.

"Mother," he said picking his words carefully as he still wanted to be fed, "you were the entertainment last night from what I hear, also you were the older out of the two of you. I mean you hadn't even noticed that he had gone until you were ready to come home, so if anything you were the one who had neglected him! So don't give me that frail old lady sob story!"

"Who neglected who?" Scott said as he entered the kitchen going straight for the coffee while stretching his arms above his head.

"Oh it's nothing Son," Jeff said trying to protect John for as long as possible.

"What do you mean 'nothing'?" Grandma said, "HE neglected me!" obviously not caring whether or not John was tortured mentally by his brothers for the rest of his life.

"Hey, who neglected you, Grandma?" Alan had now appeared in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Mother this is neither the time or the place to discuss this! I will talk to him about it when he gets up!" Jeff exclaimed picking up his morning paper.

Alan at this point felt something rubbing against his legs which made him jump.

"Hey cute cat! Who's is it?" Alan asked.

"We aren't sure," Jeff responded.

"So it just showed up here?" Alan asked.

"That's right," Jeff said lifting his paper up even higher, hoping that no more questions would be asked.

Alan looked over at Scott who just shrugged shaking his head as his expression of not knowing what was going on.

"Morning," Virgil said as he dragged himself into the kitchen still half asleep and stretching. His greeting was returned by 'mornings' and 'hey's' from the members of the family already up.

Gordon then came bounding into the kitchen.

"Hey fellas! Oh my God I think Dad has really ov…" stopping himself as he saw he Dad lower his paper, tipping his head forward enough to look over the top of his glasses and raise an eyebrow at Gordon, "Dad! But if you're here then who's upstairs chucking up last nights alcohol? I tell ya it stinks!" he asked looking around the kitchen, "But we are all here? So who's upstairs?"

"Gordon," Scott said, "John isn't here,"

"Oh yeah!" Gordon said clicking his fingers into a point towards Scott.

"Wait a minute!" Alan exclaimed looking at Scott.

"A neglected Grandma!" Scott exclaimed looking at Alan.

"A cat that has appeared over night!" Alan exclaimed looking at Gordon.

"And a very sick John!" Gordon said.

"Dad," Alan said very serious with a smile playing on his lips, "Is John hanging?" all eyes on their Father.

'Great' thought Jeff 'Oh well, John brought it on himself. At least I won't have to punish him, I think just his brothers knowing will be punishment enough!'

In response to Alan's question, he just pushed his glasses up his nose and raised his paper back in front of his face.

"Well, well," Gordon said looking very slyly at Alan, "I think this is a bit valuable!"

"Go on Jeff, tell them what else he did!" his Mother ordered.

"No Mother, let it go!" he said trying not to get involved but curious to see how it would turn out.

"Oh my God! There's more!" Gordon said barely able to contain his excitement. "Grandma, please tell us what else old Johnny Boy did!"

"He walked to Rosie's, with no trousers on, slept on their sofa thinking it was here, stole a cat from somewhere and then neglected me!"

"Gordon," Alan said, "I think it's time you had the 'valuable' statement re-valued to priceless!"

"Come on fellas, we have some plotting to do!" Gordon said grinning from ear to ear.

Jeff watched as his four sons followed each other upstairs.

"Happy now?" Jeff said to his Mother while getting up to get a glass of water.

"Jeff, you know it would be better if they heard it from me than a stranger!" she insisted.

"Well I am just going to check on John," he said taking the glass of water with him, as he walked up to John's room, having a sudden realisation that he didn't have much control over his family where his Mother was involved.

Jeff knocked on John's door gently knowing full well how loud things can sound the morning after the night before. There was no reply – not that Jeff was expecting one. He slowly opened the door to find John sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands with the bucket on the floor directly underneath his face. Jeff crept in shutting the door behind him.

"John?" he asked.

"Urgh," was the only response John could muster up.

"Here," Jeff said sitting down next to his son on the bed handing him the glass of water, wincing at the smell from the contents of the bucket.

John slowly lifted his head from his hands taking the glass of water. He swilled the cool liquid around his mouth to get rid of the taste before spitting it into the bucket, then taking another sip and swallowing it.

"Thanks," he said with a very horsy voice in no more than a whisper, he continued, " 'm sorry Dad,"

"I know you are John, I think you will be even sorrier when your brothers get through with you though!"

"Urgh," John uttered again placing his head in his hands again.

Jeff feeling helpless just rubbed John's back gently in sympathy while wondering how his brothers could possibly make him feel any worse than what he already did.

**What are John's brothers going to do to him I wonder?**

**Please R&R**


	3. Boys will be Boys

**I do not own anything.**

**Lots of meanie brothers and batty Grandma remarks!**

During lunch the brothers were still secretly plotting using worded codes they had used since they were little so their Dad couldn't understand what they were saying. Even though Jeff secretly thought that it was sweet how close his sons were emotionally, it was never a good sign when they used 'the code' especially for the person on the receiving end. In this case John.

"Now boys," Jeff said sternly, "Don't do anything to dangerous will you!"

"Oh Father, you know us!" Gordon said.

"We lurve our brother and would do nothing to harm him…..intentionally!" Alan exclaimed with a cheeky grin.

"It's okay Father, Virge and I are in on it, it certainly isn't dangerous," Scott said a little too persuasively Jeff thought.

"Hehe, alright then, but you have been warned!" Jeff said knowing he could trust his eldest with his life and more importantly any one of his siblings.

After lunch they set their prank on a hung over John in motion.

"Okay Virge, you get what you need and meet us out the back near that pond, Scott and Alan you are with me," Gordon said organising his brothers.

Virgil jogged off in one direction, while the three remaining brothers made their way quietly upstairs to John's room, Scott knocked on his door softly. If John was awake they could pretend they were just checking up on him, when there was no reply they felt comfortable enough to open his door and let themselves in. As they had hoped he was passed out face down on his bed.

"Well fellas, we are in luck!" Gordon said grinning even more, "Scott, we will have to move his bed," Scott gave a quick nod in agreement. He and Gordon shifted his bed slightly away from the wall, a gap large enough for Scott to squeeze through at the same time Gordon proceeded to lift up John's legs.

"Gordo, wait a minute we need to move the bed a little bit more," he said flinching and immediately wishing he could suck his pelvis in more than what he already was.

"Sorry Scott, let me know when you have finished being a wimp, so we can get this show on the road!" Gordon said dropping John's legs back down onto the bed, the brothers froze, disturbing John enough for him to wriggle a little, but not enough to wake him.

"Geez Gordon, be a bit more careful will you!" Scott spat out in no more than a whisper.

"Okay, come on let's do this before sleeping beauty wakes up!" Alan said who by this time had started to record everything that was going on.

"Right," Gordon said making sure he had a firm grip on each of John's ankles, while Scott grabbed onto his wrists, then changing his mind to hook his arms underneath John's armpits for a better grip.

With Alan still filming the brothers started to shuffle out of the room carrying John across the hallway, down the stairs, through the lounge where their Father had been sitting.

"Boys," Jeff said curiously, "Where are you taking him?"

"He needs a wash, he stinks!" Gordon said shuffling backwards into the kitchen still holding John's ankles.

"The bathroom is that way," Jeff said looking briefly towards the stairs.

"We know!" Scott said, "can't stop and chat Johnny Boy isn't as light as he looks!" as they continued to shuffle their way through the kitchen and out the back door knocking various items on the way out and made their way towards Virgil.

"JEFFERSON GRANT TRACY!" Grandma shouted to her son, who had by this time poured himself a large glass of scotch.

"Yes Mother," Jeff said wearily leaning against the doorframe of the kitchen drinking his scotch.

"Can you tell me why John is being carried outside? He should be in bed, he's not decent enough to be going outside!" she went on.

"I can't tell you why Mother as I do not know, yes he should be in bed. However I figure this way I hope he thinks twice about drinking that much again!" he said.

"You see this is why you shouldn't have sex when you are expecting a baby!" she asked.

"Mother! Lucy and I never did anything like that while she was pregnant!" he said.

"Do you think I was born yesterday?" she snapped.

"Of course not!" he said as he wondered what words of wisdom his batty old Mother would come out with next.

"All of your sons," she sighed, "have dimples!"

"So?" he responded.

"Where do you think dimples come from? Now when I was expecting you, your Father couldn't keep his hands off me! Which explains your dimples and how you turned out!" she said looking out of the kitchen window watching slightly curious herself as to what they were going to do with John.

"Oh. My. God. Mother, that's not how babies get dimples and if you could refrain from discussing your sex life with me I would be grateful!" he said sourly and with that he went and stood out on the back porch with his drink watching the events unfold.

Scott and Gordon had reached Virgil with Alan still filming and John still unconscious.

"Here, I think its firm enough," Virgil said as he placed a lillo onto the ground by the pond and Scott and Gordon carefully placed their brother onto it making sure his arms and legs were fully on before pushing him out onto the pond.

At first it didn't move very far then Gordon pushed him gently out further into the pond.

"Oh my God, how is he not waking up?" Virgil said.

"Hey, you guys do realise if that tips and he doesn't wake up one of us is going to have to go in there and get him!" Scott said sniggering as everyone looked at Gordon.

"In my defence I thought he would have woken up by now! How has he not? Look his arm is in the water!" Gordon said giggling so hard he could barely stand.

"How is he not waking up? He's soaked!" Virgil said laughing with Gordon.

Alan had remained quiet and still filming but laughing with his brothers, he had to admit it was a funny sight! To encourage his older brother to wake up, he picked up a deflated football that was lying around and threw it at him, missing John by inches.

Slowly waking up, John slowly came round realising a million things at once he was floating on water, he was wet which threw him into panic.

His brothers just watched nearly wetting themselves with laughter as their brother as he started to kick his legs as he began to lose balance and he fell off the lillo not letting go of it slashing around trying to get back on it for dear life, to no avail he started swimming back to shore with the best doggy paddle he could quickly scrambling out chasing his brothers as fast as he could.

"Man you're soaked!" Alan shouted to him, "Any words for the camera?"

John didn't reply, just gave a hard look. He was cold, had a headache and now in a stinking mood – just to top it off. He marched his way back up to the house to get a shower.

"That right there, is the walk of shame!" Scott said still laughing.

**Please R&R**


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